So many lives are to possible to live. So many opportunities. Recently I bought a new book and I started reading it this morning: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.
To sum it up in a few sentences: 35-year old Nora decides to take her life but instead of being dead she finds herself in a space in between life and death: a giant library with endless books that describe her potential lives if she had taken a different decision.
And although it’s kind of (!) a sad story, it’s super super interesting and gives totally new perspectives on life.
There are so many different lives that we could live. Theoretically. But physically we can only live one life. With every decision we make, we determine the next step that will happen in our life. And our decisions have consequences that are irreversible.
There are also different versions that I could imagine for my life.
I think only this book made me reflect (even!) a little more and I got a bit melancholic – if that’s the right word.
What if we made a different decision in our life?
I am happy with where I am in life. Of course, I have a thousand questions in my mind and I tend to overthink a lot. But to be honest, there isn’t really a thing that I regret doing in my life. I think I’ve always been a person that has listened to her intuition. Also, before I was into all of this spiritual stuff. I just did what felt good. I came to most of my decisions in life what felt good. Not really “logical” thinking.
After starting reading this book questions popped up in my head like:
- What if I decided to stay in Cologne after university and keep my flat there? (Would I still live there? Would I have a job there? Would I have different friends / a partner from there?)
- What if I didn’t move to Hamburg for my internship back in 2021?
- What if I chose Barcelona instead of Palma in summer 2021? (oh, SO many things would be different now!)
- What if I didn’t go on all these trips in the last years? (Especially my times in Toronto?)
- What if it worked out with this or that person?
- What if I would have settled in Mallorca in 2021 and stayed there?
I could ask myself question over question.
But I do not know the answer.
Sometimes I cannot decide what to do with my life. Not because I don’t have any ideas. It’s rather that there are so many options.
What do we want in life? Sharing my examples…
There were phases in my childhood and teenage years where I would think I want to become an actress and model. I also wanted to work at a lifestyle or travel magazine. I had so many dreams and they were kind of diverse so I didn’t go after one fully. One of my main dreams has always been being a writer (and I still have this dream as you know) but during the last years I haven’t found as much time as I wanted to.
Before writing way too much here, I want to come to the point. Yes, there are so many versions of ourselves that can exist. And yes, they can’t exist all at once but you can implement your dreams one after the other. And who knows which thing will lead you to the next epic thing. So many new dreams can still arise that you don’t know about yet.
Coming shortly back to some of my potential versions (cause sometimes I feel writing these blogposts are also a kind of online journal for me through which I can reflect and process things better – and maybe you can relate and it inspires you or gives you nudges to think about).
My current – 3D/physical reality – version is that I am working at an online marketing agency as a copywriter / marketing manager. I work remotely and I’m mostly switching between Mallorca, my German family home and different city trips on a regular basis.
But there are also so any other versions where I could see myself. Then my life would look differently…
I also had the vision of going into real estate in Toronto or getting an apartment there and rent it on Airbnb too. Having Toronto as one of my home bases.
I also thought about being an influencer and find my spot in the wellness/holistic lifestyle niche.
I pictured myself on a movie set or work in a production company. Yes, I love everything film/public event/”celebrity” related. (I even thought if I should work in the music industry but I think my passion for music isn’t that big enough.)
I can also imagine myself being a full-time writer, living between Mallorca and LA (maybe?), and traveling six weeks to Hawaii and write my book there (this has also been a vision of mine for such a long time).
Listening to our heart and intuition is the right answer
The list could go on and on. Yes, we could live so many potential lives. But as I said earlier, we only have one life. And instead of worrying and constantly overthinking we should only do one thing: Listening to our heart.
Yes, it might sound cliché but deep down we find all of our answers. Reducing the noise from the outside and coming back to our truest self. Our inner self knows. It really does. Some call it intuition, some divine guidance. I believe that we all have an intuition. Some maybe have lost their connection to it. For some people, this inner voice is louder, for some it’s quieter. But it’s always there.
What if you don’t listen to all the advices from outside what you’re supposed to be doing but instead listen to your inner voice. Your intuition will guide you. Listen to that voice. Trust it and act accordingly. Trust all these signs and be open which impulses or nudges you’re feeling. When you listen to your intuition, you can’t be wrong. You just can’t be.
See today as a new start of your new life. Whenever you are reading this, take some time after this post and connect to your inner being. Be silent. Listen to what your heart and intuition have to say. And then act accordingly.
Sending you love and light
palmtrees and sunshine 