Today it’s 11thDecember which means it’s my birthday. I’m not only one year older but also one year wiser – at least I guess so. In this blog post I want to share with you some lessons I learned this year. Since my birthday is in December, the year of 2019 is going to end soon, so some of the lessons go along with the lessons I learned in this calendar year. I’m going to publish a separate blog soon, in which I show you my 19 best moments of 2019.
But for now, you can read 22 things I learned this year.
#1 We shouldn’t compare our journey to others
Each and every one of us is going on their own path in their own pace. It doesn’t matter what certain people have achieved at a certain age. You do you and you should only compare yourself to your version of yesterday.
#2 It’s not about you. It’s about them.
Whenever a person behaves a certain way, it’s always about THEIR feelings and THEIR inner world. We can’t change what’s happening but we can choose how to react to it. When people make decisions don’t worry too much why they did this and that. Don’t overthink too much or question yourself. In most of the times it has to do something with them. Just let them be them and know that you will attract the right people.
#3 You don’t have to impress anybody but yourself
Sometimes we do certain things so others get a better impression of us. We think too much how we look or act, what we wear, how we behave or who are with us. We sometimes plan certain events and scenarios so that it looks like a ‘coincidence’. But in the end all this doesn’t matter. We should be proud of who we are, stand for our values and do things that WE like. Not other ones. We can’t please everybody. When we are true to ourselves, we attract the right people. The only person you have to impress is yourself.
#4 Meditation and visualizations are indeed powerful
Late August I had my last oral exam for my university. Normally I’m a person that is nervous before oral exams and I was afraid I would forget my text for my presentation or that I’m so shaky that I can’t speak slowly. I thought this time it has to be different. So for one week I practiced not only the text of my presentation but also meditated a lot and imagined myself standing in front of my professors self-confident and speaking slowly. It became so real in my mind that my reality adjusted: I was calm and had such a great presentation. You can read a more detailed version of this story (which still amazes me) in a separate blog post soon.
#5 Some people steal your energy
People that steal your energy don’t necessarily have to be toxic people and you don’t have to cancel them out of your life completely. But when you feel that they’re not giving you a good feeling, a positive vibe or a value or impact, it’s better to take a step back. It’s not mandatory to spend very much time with them when you don’t feel like it. Better surround yourself with people that lift you up and with those you feel 100% comfortable with.
#6 We should always communicate our true feelings right away
An experience I made several times this year was that it’s definitely better to say if you have feelings for a person or not. Beating about the bush isn’t benefitting the situation for both parts. When you see someone only as a friend – communicate that. This way, he or she knows where he’s at and you will feel better than letting the other person in uncertainty before it gets awkward.
#7 Stand for your dreams, no matter what other people say
There will always be critics in your life. But the key is to only listen to the ones that motivate you and lift you up. It’s not wrong to listen to other people’s opinions but in the end it’s your life and you can choose how it’s going to look like. Often people are doubting and trying to persuade you out of something. Funnily enough, people are trying to give advice, although they have not achieved what you are trying to. So they’re doubting fundamentally without having made any experience in this area. So better listen to people who already been there what you are trying to achieve.
#8 It’s better to have a few close friends than many that don’t fully support you
Friendships are a complex matter sometimes. What I realized is that the length of the friendship doesn’t have to do anything with the depth of the friendship. You can be friends for years and over time you realized that you’re not as close as you once were. Or you can make new friends and become close pretty fast. How can you recognize what a good friend is? You feel comfortable with them. You have deep conversations and not talking superficial stuff or only telling them what’s new in your life. You enjoy each other’s company. You can be you. You can be silly. You’re laughing a lot. And talk about serious topics too. You listen to them. They listen to you when you’re talking. They ask how you’re doing. You stay in contact pretty much every day. They lift you up. They are happy when you succeeded in something. You talk with them about your visions. And your feelings. You feel that you’re having an added value after a conversation with them. Silence doesn’t feel awkward. They make you believe in yourself. You have same values and interests. You will feel when they’re serious about their friendship with you. You can trust them. You know that they don’t gossip about you. They invest as much in your friendship as you do. I learned that people come and go in our life. Don’t be sad when some leave you. Actually you don’t loose them. In the end you only win.
#9 We will attract the right people when we’re ourselves
This one goes along with the point above but I wanted it to make an extra point. It’s a waste of time to pretend to be someone we’re not. When we are ourselves, speak our truth and don’t hide behind a mask, we’re attracting people on our wavelength. Remember that there are always people like you in this world. Don’t force yourself to be friends with someone, although you don’t vibe.
#10 When you have a weird feeling about something, stay away from it
You might not know now what it exactly is that causes this strange feeling inside of you. But when you feel as if there’s something strange, it’s better to keep an open eye and watch your feelings. Always let your intuition guide you. Maybe it’s a false person, maybe with ulterior motives, maybe it turns out energy draining or maybe it brings no added value and you remove from your initial vision.
#11 The universe gives us everything we want (or rather: that we’re aligned with)
When we’re wishing for something from the perspective of lack we won’t receive it. Gratitude is the first step for receiving our desire. But once we’ve done that and let go of being attached of the outcome, magic is going to happen.
#12 There are no coincidences
Everything has to teach you something. Every event, every person you meet. You might not know the reason in the beginning, but remember that everything is a teacher and prepares you for something greater. When it feels like a setback, trust the journey of life. Take a deep breath and know amazing things will come your way.
#13 In order to have a great life, you have to have a clear vision
When you don’t know what you want, you can’t manifest properly. You swim like a fish, back and forth and floating around. It’s possible to manifest everything in your life that you want. But you have to know your vision first. What is it that you want? What does your soul want? Stand up for your dreams and don’t be too shy or feel too unworthy to achieve them. No matter what it is, there will always be people that speak against you. Go into yourself, turn off all external noises and listen to what you really want. Once you have this vision, stick to it and make it happen. You deserve it.
#14 You can meet ANY person you want to meet
No matter if it’s Instagram bloggers, celebrities or your crush you know from Instagram. When you want to meet certain persons, the universe will make it happen. (But non-attachment is the key). However, this doesn’t mean that you will certainly get along well or end up being friends or in a relationship. The people that belong to you, will find their way to you. You don’t have to look for them. You can’t force friendship or love. With some people you vibe, with some you don’t. And that’s okay. But as I said when you want to meet a specific person – no matter who it is – it’s definitely possible. There will appear “coincidences” or situations that bring you together. When you get along, it’s great. When you don’t get along so well or the other person is not interested in you or whatever, that’s fine you. At least your wish came true to meet and get to know this person. (Believe me, it happened to me.)
#15 Don’t be influenced by other people’s opinions
You do you. And it’s good how you are. When you have a vision, a plan and a goal – do it. Don’t let other people tell you not to do it. Especially when they haven’t even achieved what you want to do or when they have a completely different vision.
#16 Traveling just makes my heart happy
This year I haven’t traveled as much as in the past years. Mainly because my year was a lot more structured, mainly due to uni deadlines and submissions I had. First, I had to write a business plan for university, then study for exams and prepare and my bachelor thesis. Late summer I had my last oral exam for university and in September my graduation. In fall and early winter I had so settle and organize myself a bit as well as starting with my freelance business. This year passed by so quickly and I barely found time to travel. A few days ago, however, I booked a trip with my mom for next year. After having booked the trip, my heart felt a constant mood booster and I can’t wait to explore a new city. I realized so much that there’s definitely something missing when I don’t know when I’m traveling next. You can also check out my Instagram post where I share with you these thoughts.
#17 Social Media hinders me to be “in the flow”
It’s no surprise that there is this saying: “Create more than you consume”. Oftentimes we spend hours on Instagram, just scrolling through our feed and watching stories. Time goes by and in the end we weren’t productive at all. I believe that there are inspiring stories to watch that encourage us to be creative and take inspired action, but honestly most of the time it’s just a time-eater and we feel lazy and tired afterwards. So as a New Year’s resolution I definitely want to spend less time consuming but more time creating.
#18 Celebrities are just humans.
Ok, we all know it. But sometimes our ego gets a bit louder and we are so impressed by them or their status just because they are actors, singers or whatever. Some years ago I would have been so happy to see these people but now I came to the conclusion that no matter who it is, they’re just humans. On top, it doesn’t make them a better person only because they are a celebrity. I want to be surrounded by kind and nice people. People with visions and dreams, action takers, positivity-spreaders, humorous and honest persons. I had one situation this year where I was so close to a celebrity but didn’t want to ask for a photo or starting a conversation just because I felt we’re not quite on the same wavelength. If, for example, this celebrity was interested in similar things that I like, e.g. yoga or spirituality, I would have started a conversation for sure. But I wouldn’t just ask for a photo like a fan girl and adoring him/her because of their social status.
#19 It’s important to know your worth and celebrate every small step of success
Often, we’re having so many great goals that we forget what we have already achieved. We should really celebrate ourselves and be proud of what we’ve done and not only focusing on the next goal in life. Whether it’s a successful presentation, a bachelor degree, having the courage to start a new life in a new city or getting out of our comfort zone. Let’s celebrate ourselves – and not only on our birthdays.
#20 I need to create my own tribe
You probably have noticed that a lot of my learnings this year have to do with people and human interactions – but that is just a complex matter and we can learn so much in this area. Your vibe attracts your tribe. I’m sure you already heard this quote. But it’s so true. We all want to have an amazing group of friends, go on road trips, travel and have our own little community. Especially on social media, there are so many “tribes” of cool people and I’d love to join them all: vegan families on Hawaii, spiritual girls on Bali, surfers and vegans in LA, models in Australia or young business people in Italy. Honestly, I’d love to be friends of them all. But I realized that we have to be the best version of ourselves and create our own tribe. The people that belong to us will find their way in our life (see #9).
#21 You can’t missionize other people
I’m not the person that forces my opinion upon others. However, when I’m excited about a topic and I think it will benefit people as well (and it’s good and life changing) I’m trying a lot to familiarize them with this specific topic. But I found out that sometimes it’s like talking to against a wall. Some people just don’t want to see the benefits of it, have prejudices against it (a lot) and think I’m crazy sometimes. Everyone of us lives in their own bubble, their own reality. There is no objective reality.
For example topics like veganism, a cruelty-free lifestyle, low-waste, sustainability, astrology and spirituality are close to my heart. I believe when you deal with these topics, it has huge benefits in your life. When I’m surrounded with my friends these topics are so normal that we don’t question them at all. But when I enter a different bubble of people, I realize that there is so much work that needs to be done. I believe that everyone us can make a difference in this world. No matter how small the step. Whether it’s recycling, minimizing waste, traveling eco-friendly or eating a plant-based diet. There are countless possibilities to make this world better. No one of us is perfect but that’s not the point. We have to start with small steps and do our best. Not blaming others. As I said nobody is perfect but when I try and make effort, it’s not okay to blame me for the parts I don’t succeed 100%. Moreover, we can’t only blame the politics and big companies all the time. Blaming others and doing nothing is just not okay. THAT’S what upsets me. When do people get that it starts with small steps at ourselves?! Demand determines supply. Don’t just buy plastic because it’s offered to you. We can all make a change. But people have to find the joy and benefits in these topics from their own interest. When they feel like someone forces them their opinion it doesn’t work out and they continue having prejudices. I stop this topic at this point and I’m planning on writing a separate blog post about it soon.
#22 Listen to your intuition. Always.
The only way we should follow is the voice of our heart. What does our intuition tell us? Which way should we go? Which path to take? Why do we have a strange feeling sometimes when it comes to specific persons or situations? No problem if you don’t know the answer yet. Your intuition tells you what is right. That is definitely one of my biggest learnings this year. Trust that inner voice. Just trust.
I hope you enjoyed reading my 22 learnings from this year and took something valuable along. I’m grateful for everyone of you who read this long article till the end and I would appreciate any comment under my post. Feel free to share your learnings or comment on which points you agree (or disagree).
Wishing you love and light