2020 has been a different year. 
Not a usual one. And it affected everybody on this planet. 
We experienced something we have never had before. None of us. 
And despite all the awful changes in the world, everything that has happened, that cost lives and stability, I want to focus on the positive sides. Yes, there were positive sides. 
I believe everybody perceived this year differently. Some people’s lives had to change more, plans had to be canceled, financial and mental insecurity and even the loss of family members or friends. I really do not want to imagine what many people had to go through this year and I’m sure these people can’t wait for 2020 to end.
But where there’s transformation and suffering, there is also growth. 

 A quote by Rick Warren goes like this:

“There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.”

I believe that humanity is right in the midst of a global shift, a shift of consciousness, a real transformation. On a higher level, this all makes sense and it’s part of a plan. Even though we don’t see the outcome yet. 
Trust your journey.  
Maybe you can’t see the light of the tunnel yet. But I promise, there is light. It’s right in front of us and these times of darkness were maybe necessary to appreciate the freedom we had and to birth something new.

Quarantine lifestyle, a new reality in 2020

Quarantine and lockdown isn’t generally speaking a great time. We had to give up a lot of freedom and couldn’t continue living our lives the way we did. Despite the curfews and distance from family and friends, this time in solitude could have been spent to calm our mind, to go on an inner journey, the journey to our soul. 
For many people it has been hard to live a life without external distractions, like going out to the movies, eating in a restaurant, going to concerts. Yes, not having a social circle and being distanced from our loved ones is not always easy but not be able to distract our minds in these “outside” activities could also open many doors.
This year has been the time where many people reflected their life more than ever. What is it that really fulfills you? What sparks joy in you? Are you happy with your job? With your partner? With the city you’re living in? We had A LOT of time to reflect. 
Personally I can’t understand people who said this was all boring and nothing to do. Finally, we had time to go on our inner journey.

Was it always comfortable? No.
Was it worth it? Yes!
We had time to be brutally honest with ourselves. 
It’s easy to procrastinate these deep life questions and getting lost in the moment.  When we’re so caught up in the moment, it’s easy to defer the question of our life’s purpose. For weeks, for months, for years. And maybe one day when we’re older, we are confronted with this question again but maybe then it’s too late. We were doing a 9-5 job, lived from one weekend to the other, maybe distracted ourselves with parties, alcohol, relationships or traveling. The years could have been great but then we’ll be asking us again: Are we really happy with our life? Do we live our life’s purpose? Do I know myself? Do I know what I want? For real? 
Or is it only what society or maybe my parents or closest friends want me to?

 

Reflecting and the inner journey

I know from my own social circle that many people haven’t dealt with personal development yet. (Luckily the majority has, but there are still people who haven’t done so). I noticed that the people who haven’t asked deep questions yet, who haven’t taken the path down to their soul, who haven’t dealt with their spiritual journey, who haven’t doubted everything and believed everything what they’re being told, who haven’t done shadow work yet, that these are (most of the times) people who are annoyed by outer limitations. 
Don’t get me wrong, also I love traveling. But not being able to discover many new places this year, I was forced to go on one of the biggest journeys so far: The journey to my soul. 
(And believe me, it’s a never-ending journey) But it’s SO fascinating, it’s exciting, instructive, yes, also doubting. It feels like a whole new dimension. So much territory that still need to be discovered. 
I know that everyone  of us is on their own journey. Some people begin sooner, some later to find out why they’re here for. And some might never deal with this topic in this life time. 
But for me personally speaking, I used this time at home, thought a lot, discovered my personality other spiritual realms, broadened my mindset and got one step closer to where I belong. Home. To my soul. 

Traveling in 2020

After this little spiritual rant, I want to become more concrete.
As I said, the most important journey this year was my spiritual journey (even though I haven been dealing with personal development and spirituality in the last couple of years). Nevertheless, I got the chance to travel a tiny bit in 2020 (and luckily my two “main” trips this year happened before Covid was really a thing).
So here are some highlights of my travels in 2020:

 Venezia in January

Very luckily, me and my mom went to Venice in early January – Covid wasn’t a thing at this time and of course we didn’t notice it at this time there. 
We had a few very lovely days in this beautiful Italian city and it’s one of my best memories of this year. I like to think back to it so often.

Frankfurt in February

Although I don’t know if it can be really count as a real “travel”, I do count it. Earlier this year I was visiting  one of my friends in Frankfurt and we had great weekend there. I was there before but this time it was different. For example we visited the Botanical Garden which is still very present in my memories. 

Barcelona in March

When you hear “March” and “2020” and “traveling”, you can probably tell that this wasn’t the best time to travel. Or better speaking: To travel long-term. In March the situation got heightened and I had to end my traveling very prompt due to Covid. I traveled to Barcelona on the 3^rdof March and had to come back to Germany two weeks later. My initial plan was to stay there for at least month (because that’s the period of time I booked my AirBnb) but I was open to stay longer (or even emigrate), depending on how things would develop. Nevertheless, I had an epic time there, met amazing people, experienced a lot, even my dearest friend came to visit me for some days and I really lived on my own terms. I was a bit sad to end my adventure but deep down I knew it would make sense and I promised Barcelona to come back. And I will. 

Trips to Berlin, Hamburg and Kiel 

I’ve been to Berlin and Hamburg before, but not Kiel. Since I felt the urge to go there this year, I added this on my travel list and found a cheap train ride to the top of Germany. Me and my dad enjoyed a weekend there and made an intermediate stop in Hamburg (both on our outward trip and return). Some weeks prior I visited my friend in Berlin and we went to Hamburg together afterwards since it’s only a short distance by train. Later in summer I went with my mom to Berlin, since I won a giveaway to Berlin at the beginning of this year. It was my mom’s first time there and we had a very good time although it was only for two days. And just as I’m writing this it came to my mind that I was in Berlin earlier this year as well, once in January and once in February – also to visit a friend. 

Summer in Munich

Me and my friend and nametwin Sabrina were used to travel together in the last couple of days and we always spent some great time in Europe, once it was Rome, once Greece, another time Mallorca or a road trip (or train trip) through Italy. This year we knew it would fall through but we wanted to spend a great summer nevertheless. That’s why we decided to travel to a German city where it kind of feels like holidays. We choose to stay Munich for one week. We both knew this city (I also lived there for 3 months once but during fall and winter). So being in this beautiful German city for a whole week during summer time was new to both of us. We had a really good time and did what we can do best: drinking coffee. (Little joke, but not really). We discovered cute cafés, drank delicious cappuccinos, enjoyed warm summer days at the river Isar and Eisbach, ate ice cream and enjoyed the view over Munich from one of its best hotel roof tops. We also went on an adventure for one day and went to three different lakes in the area nearby. All in all it was a really good one week.

Day trips in North-Rhine-Westphalia (and the Netherlands)

I know these actually can’t count as traveling but I’m listing the cities anyway. During summer time I was in different German cities in North-Rhine-Westphalia, only for a day. Of course I went to Cologne many times (it’s like my second-home) but also to Düsseldorf, Münster and Bonn. I was also in Venlo (Netherlands) once for a day but I’ve been there so many times that I wouldn’t consider this as traveling. But hey, in 2020 even a trip to the supermarket was an adventure and the highlight of the week, so I guess Venlo counts as a real trip. 😉 

Jobs, profession, vocation

Oh yes, friends, the seemingly never-ending journey on how to find out my “real” passion/job/profession/vocation in this lifetime. Close friends know what I’m talking about…
Last year I graduated from university and I have been working as a marketing freelancer since then. But was this what I 111% wanted to do with my life? I thought after university I would have a clear vision and I could start my social media freelancer career without any further obstacles. Or rather start my career with a clear vision. I thought it was clear but I was wrong. As I told you in the text above, I went deeper down on my spiritual journey, thought back and forth, thought about what REALLY makes me happy and also overthought a lot – but this all  led me to where I am now and I am so grateful for the external circumstances that occurred. It was all part of a process. Finding your vocation isn’t a one-week-thing. Neither a one-month-thing. It takes HOURS and DAYS and WEEKS and MONTHS of reflecting, so much effort only to get one step closer. But it’s also fun and I like the journey I’m on.

I worked as a Social Media Marketer this year, got clients, lost clients, accepted what is. I reconsidered everything, got clearer in my career, then doubted again. I got closer to my purpose in life, then further away again. Like waves. I tried things, thought about new business ideas, listened to my inner voice and intuition. 

I had many big ideas, things I can’t implement in a short time. I thought about my major goals in life, goals that I might have forgotten over the years, new goals from new impressions. I put some ideas aside, some ideas I’m working on. My repertoire of ideas is endless. Being a personal meditation coach for my favorite artists? Why not? Or maybe becoming an essential oil expert? Or an astrologer?

Or a writer! I’ve always wanted to be one. But over the last days I didn’t write fictional stuff. And now, I’m so glad that my passion is back. 
On one train ride during summer, I got spontaneously an idea for a novel I want to write and I made notes on a paper sheet I had in my pocket. Since then I’ve been fine-tuning the plot and I began to write. Ahh, I’m really so excited to write this book, develop characters and scenes. And hopefully also publish it next year. 
What would Rafael Solano say? Be brave. 😉

Being more human – watching Netflix

Sometimes I felt like being caught between a spiritual star seed and a human being.
Yes, the spiritual journey is not always rainbows and unicorns, it can also be a lot of overthinking, working too much with our mind and getting lost in thoughts… I really love to spend time thinking about my goals, meditate, read oracle cards and deal with astrology and my personality. But it can also feel good to be “just human” because that’s also what we are. Especially in these very last couple of weeks I realized that I need to ground myself more. Living constantly in my head is too much of an air energy. Overthinking and being overstimulated with our mind can cause frictions and energy blockages. I realized when I’m dealing 24/7 with deep questions about life (and yes, that’s a part of myself, I want to find out the mysteries of life) it can all get too much and I’m removing myself from all the answers. Therefore it can feel good to do what “normal” people do, such as watching a Netflix show and just relax. Especially during late autumn and winter time I was watching a lot of Netflix – which I haven’t done properly ever. I always thought it’s a bit waste of time for me because I wanted to use the time that people watch shows to be more productive. I wanted to create something  – and not feel stuck in front of a TV. 

But I learned that my body craved these things too sometimes, without feeling guilty. So I’ve been forfeited into two fandoms: Emily in Paris and Jane the Virgin. Ahh, how I love these shows. When I’m into something I’m most of the time all or nothing and I love to deal with the show/characters/behind the scenes stuff. It’s my way of processing when I see a show that I like. I begin to draw the characters, re-style their outfits or watch literally every interview of the actors. This year, as I said it has definitely been Emily in Paris and Jane the Virgin which I really binge-watched. (Already feeling part of the Villanueva family, haha). Do you know these shows? Let me know.

Social circle

What would be a good year without the people who make it?
Although this year was different than usual, I still got to manage to see my friends (some however not as many times as I wished but still). I got to know many new people especially during my time in Barcelona, I also connected on Instagram with new people, maintained my friendships and built new ones.

I don’t want to make a long list of people who accompanied me in 2020 because it wouldn’t be fair for the ones I don’t name but if you read this I want to give a huge thank you and massive hugs to my friends Nina (who I got to know this year and I’m  so super super grateful for the journey we’ve been on together), Sabrina, Gina, Jenni and Iago and Reshma, my mirror and sister from another planet. As I said I’m also thanking everyone of you who is in circle of friends, although I didn’t mention you. (Feels like I’m writing my acknowledgement at the end of my book here, haha)
Life is so much better and exciting with people who get you, with friends who are on the same wavelength, with whose presence it feels light and easy. 
I believe we are on this Earth to experience, live and spread our light. 

Astrology

This year I discovered a topic for me that excites me a lot and I’m so willing to learn more about: astrology. I’ve always been interested in it but after various synchronicities, astrology found its way to me. When I was in Barcelona I was taking  part in a webinar which got me interested and then I even met an astrologer through a mutual friend in Barcelona, which I see as the crucial factor. Also after my trip to Barcelona I read much about the topic of astrology, learned a bit how to read my birth chart, got a very long analyzed PDF about my horoscope (which I’m still so stunned about), took part in other webinars, listened to Astrology podcasts and exchanged a lot with friends. I can’t wait to see which role astrology will play in 2021 (or which meaning I will give it to) and how I can help people (and myself) with this special language of the universe. 

And what else did happen?

• I became a Shawn Mendes Fan. And a Camila Cabello fan. And yes, I can’t wait to go to their concerts when the time is right. I also realized that some of my friends are Shawn Mendes fans too and totally get me when we hyper about his music . :DD

• I began to practice keyboard again. Learned a new song and played old songs again and realized how much I missed playing. 

 • In May I created and did a one week online live course with me about holistic living, yoga, meditation and spirituality which I called “Your holistic week with Sabrina”. It was the first project of this kind for me and I wanted to see how I enjoy it. I created everything from a landing page, to a newsletter and held the daily zoom sessions. 

• I  began to read more novels. Especially during the last years I read more non fictional books which are often a bit harder to digest than novels. I was so into spiritual and personal development books, always eager to broaden my horizon and I forgot what it feels like to dive deep into a fictional story again. Now, that I begin to write again, it came at the perfect timing that I’m reading non-fictional books again. 
Especially the “Again”- book series by Mona Kasten has been one of my favorites! Do you know these?

• I terminated the rental contract from my flat in Cologne in late spring. At this time I was subletting the flat (since I planned to go to Barcelona for a longer time) but then things happened in a different way and I decided it’s better to not rent the apartment anymore. I like Cologne, yes, but to be honest it didn’t feel right anymore to move there permanently, also due to Covid but also because I  feel that I need to go to different places now.

• So I had many beautiful summer days in Cologne – but only as a “visitor” so to speak. Many times with my friends to meet there and also with my dad because we both love the city and the vibe there. I remember one great day with my friends, sitting in a cute café with coffee, lemonade and cake, talking and pulling oracle cards, then walking along the pond “Aachener Weiher” and relaxing on the university lawn. I remember all the great summer days with my friend Gina, talking and laughing, seeing synchronicities of South Africa everywhere (because we want to go there) and then eventually planning and hosting a vegan picnic in the park with the motto “African Kitchen” – such a nice memory. You can read the full article about our picnic in this post.

• I remember early summer time (or actually it was still spring) on my balcony at home, laying in the sun, burning incense sticks, working on my computer, preparing 2020’s trend Dalgona coffee and eating home made peanut butter chocolate raw cake. All my morning walks during quarantine in my neighborhood here and our nearby little woodland and discovering streets I’ve never been to. Answering voice messages on my way, thinking about life, watching sunsets and later this year witnessing the change of the seasons… Yes, this is actually how my time of quarantine can be summarized. 😀

• I deepened my spiritual practices, made moon water, took part in online yoga full moon circle by Yoga Girl Rachel Brathen, worked out Instagram collaborations and prepared content, had a lot of Skype sessions with my friends (very long skype sessions) and talked about God and the world. 

• I went to Cologne as I said many times during summer, enjoyed the time in my favorite café there, laughed a lot and was inspired to write. Love these memories, exciting 😉 but now it’s time to #moveon.

• I built an amazing friendship with my friend Reshma who lives in Barcelona (but we haven’t met physically set) and we’re still figuring  out why we have so many parallels and basically from which planet, universe or parallel life we know each other. We’ve been supporting us so much, discussing our ideas, manifested and coached together and now building an e-commerce business together. 

• I enjoyed very hot summer days at the lake, kayaking with my dad and going swimming, forest walks in distance with my friends and eating a lot of green smoothie bowls on the balcony.

• I took part in online yoga classes taught by my dear friend Jenni. I’m so happy about her project “Lebensliebe”. Check out her Instagram if you want to learn more about her Community House and her offered activities.

• • I had so many laugh attacks with my mom, we literally cried almost every time we were laughing. Sometimes very spontaneously due to circumstances, and sometimes about the same things and insider jokes.

• I found my daily yoga routine back again, especially during the first lockdown in April. I took part in the Yoga Morning Movement with “Yoga with Kassandra” and her daily YouTube videos. She has become my favorite yoga teacher and I love to practice with her so much.

• Some new Instagram accounts were born (but I can’t tell that much yet, there’s still content that need to be prepared but I’m happy to express myself on another platform. I also made the decision to start actively with YouTube videos. In the past I uploaded some travel vlogs, but I’ve decided that there’s more I want to share, so be excited for more content in the future. It will be about traveling and my spiritual journey :))) You can check out my YouTube channel here. I’m also so glad and happy that a few of my friends are thinking about starting YouTube, one has actually already uploaded some videos. I can’t wait for maybe even collabs in the future. 😉

• I’ve been a total fan of the show Jane the Virgin, watched so many interviews and found out what a lovely and inspiring family Justin Baldwin (one of the main characters) has. I really look up to him and his work and his great heart and the work he does, although I do not know him in person of course. But I’ve realized that there ARE men out there that have their heart in the right place and it’s okay to have high standards and wait until the one that’s perfect for us has arrived. What is meant to be together will find its way. All we need to trust and have faith. 

I want to end this blogpost with a quote by Abdu’l-Baha.that I also learned through the Baldoni family: 

“Where there is love, nothing is too much trouble, and there is always time.”

This was my 2020.
I hope I could give you a little insight of the things I did and how I perceived this year.
Now I’m interested what your 2020 has looked like. What were your highlights?  And which lessons did you learn? How did you perceive this year?
I’m happy about every answer of you.